Recently, my principal shared a blog in her weekly bulletin that made me reflect on “the students we are going to give up on”. They are often conversations that begin in a hot classroom in June, but if we really want to ensure our at risk kids have every opportunity to earn that credit for our class, pass our state test/finals, the time for interventions is always….now. I am writing this post to share what I do when I feel like I am losing a student, and I am writing it in hopes that you can take a minute and comment or tweet the additional ways you find to support a student who is at risk. Losing a student is referring to losing them both emotionally and academically.

These are in no particular order, and they come with no guarantees, because we are working with children with a thousand different circumstances that affect their success. However, I am a strong believer in focusing on the things we can control and influence – those minutes and hours that we have the students in our care – to have a positive affect on student learning.

• Call home. Don’t email. A parent hearing there is another adult who cares deeply about their child will create a team of support for that kid, which they may feel even if they don’t verbalize it. I often ask a parent “can you tell me, as mom/dad, a way that I can help your child that I may not be thinking of”. I have heard some really great responses to this question, and some that showed the parent is struggling as much as I am.
• Talk to the student about what is going on – but never in front of their peers. It is hard for me to remember what it was like to be 13 as my age climbs higher and higher. But every once in a while I have a flashback of something a teacher said to me in front of the class and I can still feel the pit in my stomach. When I have a student chat with me after class or during a study hall/lunch (whatever your schedule allows) we don’t have the barriers of what the other students’ think or our projection of that on the conversation. I try to sit down across from the child, and I start by telling them what I have observed. Then I ask them what is going on that would make them behave a certain way or why their school work is deteriorated. The next part is the most important: Listen. Really listen, not as though you are waiting to speak, but because you want to hear what they have to say. It is very possible you are the only adult who cares what this kid has to say today. Sometimes what they have to say is heartbreaking. Sometimes the kids are stone cold and I feel like I have gotten nowhere. But, trying to reach a kid is a process and not a band aide. I was once trying to connect with a kid and he stonewalled me the first two times we talked. The last time, I got up to leave the room and he didn’t. I said “do you want to stay and talk” he said “I kind of want to leave. But I got more I need to say to you”. So I sat back down, and he shared some things with me that hacked away at the wall just enough for us to see each other.
• Work academically 1:1. Our days are so full. Planning, calling parents, team meetings, grading, tech integration, progress reports…the list is endless!!! But, from experience, my most successful intervention comes from finding a quiet time to work with a student 1:1 and, in my case, study with them like my parents studied with me. Many schools have an extra help period to do this, but I also like using lunch or my planning periods if I have my lessons ready to roll. I have also found that it is more effective to work 1:1 with that student with no other students in the room, for example during an extra help period, and I’ll often touch base with other teachers to make this possible and we rotate out on 20 minute intervals.
• Ask other teachers/the school counselor for help. Depending on our school set up, or if you are part of a team within a school, I either watch the child to see who they gravitate to or ask at a team meeting what adult is connected to the student who is struggling. Much like parents, they often have an understanding of the student that I don’t and I want to learn from them. Sometimes a teacher knows the family, or has taught siblings, and they can shed light on the situation that I wouldn’t have been able to see. I am so thankful when a colleague really thinks about my question, and says “have you tried…”. Take notes! You don’t want to forget what they suggest! I also know sometimes teachers say “they are a problem for you? They are an angel for me!”. My response is “tell me about your class, tell me who they are partnered with, tell me how you built a relationship with them, how much tech they have, how they do on assessments…”. The answers can be very helpful, and sometimes…not so much. But at least my follow up questions indicate that I was not looking to vent or have a contest for who is the best teacher (surprise! It’s not a contest, we are in this together), but they show I am genuinely asking for help.**

I have had students not pass my course. I have been teaching for twelve years, and I can probably name all of my students who failed. More of them were at the beginning of my career, when being a tough teacher meant I had high expectations and low support,  I really just didn’t know what interventions were successful. But I have had students fail recently, and I always wonder what I could have done differently. I still have moments when I want to pull my hair out, and I have had tough love conversations. It is helpful when I feel like I am not making headway to remind myself that the effects of our efforts as educators may not been seen in the moment, and may be contributed to the sphere of things that are out of our control. I guarantee you that when you put the effort in now, one day a student will email you, call you, or see you in the supermarket and say “thank you for not giving up on me”.

Thanks to @lisaMeade23, @22KarenHall and @purplepatti09, @burgessdave (check out the chapter Rapport of his book Teach Like A Pirate) and all my educator friends who help me find new ways to support our students and share through blogging and connecting on social media.

 

**I will write another blog on this at some point – but it is important to ask people you trust or admire for help. It doesn’t mean that you are weak, or that you are incompetent. It means you what the best for you students and you are open to feedback and input to help them.